What You Need to Know About Capricorn Season

Ambition, Fish Sticks, and Nitric Acid

Capricorn season is here and even of you’re not blessed enough to be one of us tenacious, ambitious Caps, you’re probably wondering how best to navigate the season. Or you may have noticed some changes in your favorite Cap’s behavior. We are a mysterious and capricious sort, and between December 22 and January 19, we are at our strongest. Read on for a few insights into the season when your most determined and ruthless friends are fueled by the favor of the stars.

You may know that we Capricorns are typically represented with a goat. This is because we are descended from goats. Consequently, we Caps have cast-iron stomachs (I have a great marinade for tin cans) and are spectacular mountain-climbers. 72% of the people who have climbed Mount Everest and lived to tell the tale are Capricorns. You just don’t hear about it because we like to let our accomplishments speak for themselves. Sometimes Capricorns are represented with a goat-fish hybrid. That’s just because we like fish sticks.

Although we have incredibly high standards for ourselves, Caps don’t mind letting others take the spotlight once in a while. While everyone’s looking the other way, we are plotting and scheming to make our next big move. Capricorn’s amenability to working in the shadows comes…