The Secret Life of WTF Stock Photos
If you work in blogging or content marketing, you know that moment when you’re just looking for a generic snapshot and you find a puzzling, but somehow enchanting, image.
Here are the untold stories behind just of a few of the free stock photos I’ve come across.
This young man invented a shrink ray. He shrunk his boyfriend so tiny he fits within the petals of a rose. The trouble is, he doesn’t know how to reverse the shrinkage. He hates to walk the world so seemingly alone. He carries this bouquet, both as a means of bringing his lover with him, but also as a signal to the outside world that he has someone to love.
“Finally, I have a planet of my own. The sacrifices have all been worth it.”
This is the sweet moment right after a sufferer of Benjamin Button disease proposes to his longtime girlfriend.
The world’s premiere butt model finally pursues his dream to work behind the camera.
This is Pete. His owner was bitten by a zombie. Unfortunately, the leash was tied around their wrist, so Pete has been stuck with an undead partner for a month. Fortunately, this is a slow zombie universe, so he just has to keep an eye on the zombie owner to make sure it doesn’t get too close and eat him.
When a baby is born, their first poop is the purest substance on earth. The next big trend for parents is poop facials. It does wonders for the skin. Eating your own placenta is so 2016.
This young woman is exhausted by fighting the patriarchy, but even in her moment of respite, she is troubled by groupthink within transgressive movements.
This is a cleverly disguised hand warmer. Your friends won’t ask you to share unless you run with a very pious crowd.
Sid is planning to kill his stepfather, who lives at the top of a mountain. The roads are very good, so he can actually drive right to his stepdad’s door. Sid just wants to have lots of weapon at hand when the moment comes.
This young man is calling his grandmother to tell her he has herpes. She always warned him to wrap it up, but he didn’t listen. Now he has the VD.
“What are you doing, Carl?”
“Just…thinking. You know, Maggie?
“I feel you.”
“HEY GUYS! WHATCHA DOING?!”
“Go away Tucker.”
This child was adopted at birth by a couple of open-minded cherry blossom trees. They may not look like your typical family, but they love and support each other.
This pineapple has struggled his whole life for financial security. He has neglected relationships, disappointed friends, and eschewed his passions for commercial success. Reclining in his pool, he’s troubled by the gnawing suspicion that it wasn’t worth it.
This woman mated with a lizard. Her baby is going to be cold-blooded, so she is teaching it how to bask.
…Dude. I have no idea.
All images from Unsplash. Except that last one.