How I Gained 500 Medium Followers in 2 Weeks
The constant slog to produce new content and entertain the masses is both a privilege and a responsibility. Any writer or artist worth their salt will tell you that every adoring fan is like a stone dropped in your pocket. While you can use those stones to throw at other people and harm your enemies, eventually the weight starts to pull your pants down and you wonder if it’s all worth it.
I’ll admit, I’ve neglected my audience on Medium, having not published in more than a year. But recently, I’ve received incontrovertible proof that I am not just missed on this platform, but that the wider world yearns for my wisdom.
It all began a little over two weeks ago.
As I checked my email for the seventeenth time, I noticed a surprising subject line: You have 33 new followers on Medium.
Back when I was devoting more time to the platform and using my foolproof build-an-audience plan (in which I followed a bunch of people every day in the hopes that some would follow me back. Seriously, I would put “follow people on Medium” on my to do list), this might not have been so strange.
But like I said, overwhelmed by the volume of content and cheerful people telling me how I could become a more satisfactory person with this one simple habit, as well as my insignificance in the grand scheme of digital commentary, I hadn’t touched the account for many moons.
Still, I didn’t give it too much thought. Perhaps some community newsletter had shared some of my brilliant comedy stylings. Or maybe there was some news story that was leading people to go down the rabbit holes of sexism or mental illness.
In any case, I went on with life. But the next day, it happened again. And again, and again.
Since then, I have gained more than 500 new followers, all without lifting a finger (I mean lifting a finger to do things on Medium. I use my fingers all day long for a plethora of activities. Now I’m just thinking about how dependent I am on my fingers. They have been good to me).
Clearly, I was being called to return to this corner of the digital content junkyard. And it is for that reason I am publishing today.
I don’t know exactly what I will be writing here on Medium. I don’t know when I will publish or how often. I have no plan whatsoever. But here I am, and it’s all because of the wonderful people whose support has reignited my creative spark.
Recognizing My Fans
I’d like to personally welcome just a few of my new followers. They are many, so forgive me if I miss anyone.
What can I say about Adrianne? She hasn’t published anything yet, but I can tell from her bio that she’s a deep thinker.
Thank you for the follow, Miranda! I agree that the quality of a laugh is more important than its chronological position.
Juliets! Have you met Miranda? I think the two of you would hit it off. Also, are you a single person named Juliets or is this a joint account for two or more different people named Juliet?
Thank you for the follow, Becca! I see I’m not the only who has gotten into baking this past year. Hey… do you have a twin?
Constance, thank you. Not just for following me, but for reminding me that I learn as much from readers as they learn from me. Even when they have also never published or commented on anything.
I’ll admit I am very hard on myself. I see every stumble of mine as a failure, but your sage words show that sometimes it is the weathering of discomfort that enables us to prevail in the end.
Judging by your reference to British currency, I take it you are from across the pond, Irene. It brings me such pleasure and pride to know that I have an international audience
One of the trials of media superstardom is finding that you are supported by those who don’t necessarily share your morals and values. While I appreciate your follow, Dorothyn, I feel compelled to say that I am adamantly against hitting children, no matter what the bible says.
Perhaps I’ll write a blog about this stance in the future that will make you reconsider the issue and change your mind. After all, it’s pleading for decency from my fellow human beings that makes writing so rewarding.
Thank You All
As there are so many of you living, breathing definitely-100%-real people who have chosen to follow me, I cannot possibly acknowledge you all individually.
So consider this a massive, shared thank you, like a big wedge of soft cheese set out for everyone to enjoy (at least until we run out of crackers).
As I said, I have no schedule, no theme, no plan. I promise you one thing and one thing only: I will make you proud.*
*Those of you who are real human beings capable of pride and not bots created for some unknown, but definitely stupid, purpose.